Ready for Fall

Hello beautiful souls! My, how I’ve missed blogging this summer due to life! How has your summer been going? (I can’t say “was” since technically summer isn’t quite over just yet.) What adventures did you go on or what lessons were learned in the summer-16? What would you say has been or will be the highlight of this summer season? Please share, I look forward to hearing from you!

My summer on the other hand was/is bittersweet. My summer season was COMPLETELY different than the way I had imagined it to be. It was a lot a heart ache, pain and definitely CHALLENGES & CHANGES that took place. Which is why I’m so READY FOR FALL! New season and a new chapter is about to bloom! (Fall is my FAVORITE season AND September is my Birthday month so I’m really excited!!!!) Although summer-16 is coming to an end, I’ve learned so much. I’ve learned more about myself than anything and I still have more room to grow and be better. I’ve lost a lot but what I’ve gained is full of so much substance that the things/people,etc that I lost is starting to feel all worth losing.

Without going to far I depth, I lost a marriage, a home, people I thought were in my corner, had to leave jobs and more. I lost my peace and joy at one point this season. At another point I thought I was losing my mind the way my life was turned upside down. I had to swallow a lot of pride this season. I don’t know about anyone else but I absolutely hate asking for help even when I need it most. Those that know me know that to be true firsthand. Not that I think I know it all or that I simply think that I can do it all on my own. I promise it isn’t from that “I’m to good to ask for help”place.

It’s more from a place of not wanting to feel like a burden or be in someone way or having  debt over my head sooo I’ll exhaust all ways of trying to help myself before asking for help for any given situation. Example, math; (My favorite subject by the way.) I would try to solve problems myself no matter how hard they are before I ask for any amount of help. I’m the same way with life unfortunately and fortunately in some cases. This season I’ve needed and got a lot of help from some beautiful souls and words could never explain how forever grateful I am and will forever be.

You would think that I would hate or think the worst of Marcus since, if I can be real, my life and my daughter life changed due to a decision he made. Honestly, I wish no ill will towards him but all God has for him. I’m thankful for all I’ve learned because of him. I realized my worth, what me and my baby girl deserve and I’ve learned what it takes and don’t take to make my next  marriage work if that’s God’s will for me and so much more.

I’ve grown in ways that surprise even myself this summer and I’m looking forward to the growth that will continue in this next season. I’m employed with 2 great jobs and I start school for business management next month. Though I lost some relationships, I gained a few that are very dear to me. I’m starting to loc journey officially next month. Although it’s been a rough one, with the grace and help from God, I know things can only go up and get from here. I look forward to sharing with you my experiences and lessons very soon.  I pray you all have a fabulous weekend!! Talk soon.

💕R.Q Janae💕